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Child custody and parenting time

How child custody works

Custody is mostly state law. Here are the basic ideas, the usual steps of a case, and the words you will see.

Custody basics

  • Custody has two parts. Legal custody is the right to make big decisions for your child, like school, health care and religion. Physical custody is about where your child lives day to day.
  • Custody can be joint or sole. Joint legal custody means both parents decide big things together. Sole legal custody means one parent makes those decisions. Physical custody can also be shared, or one parent can have the child most of the time.
  • A parenting plan is a written schedule. It says where your child lives, when your child spends time with each parent, and who makes which decisions. Parents can agree on a plan. If they can't, a judge decides.
  • Time a child spends with a parent is called parenting time or visitation. States use different words for it. Some states also use words like "parental responsibilities" or "conservatorship." Your state page explains the words your state uses.
  • Judges decide custody based on what is best for the child. This is called the "best interests of the child." Each state lists its own factors in its law. See your state page for the list.
  • Who has custody before any court order depends on state law. Some states give both parents equal rights. Some states have special rules when the parents were not married. Check your state page.
  • There is no federal law that lets a child pick a parent at a certain age. Some states let the judge listen to the child's wishes. A few set an age in their law. Your state page says what your state does.
  • Custody is mostly state law. Federal law adds a few rules that are the same everywhere: which state's court decides, how orders work across state lines, child abduction to other countries, military parents, protective orders and paternity.

How a custody case usually goes

  1. File papers

    You start a case by filing papers with the court. They may be called a petition or a complaint. If you already have a divorce or paternity case, you usually ask in that case.

  2. The other parent is served

    The other parent must get copies of the papers in an official way. This is called service. The other parent then has a set number of days to respond. In Alaska, for example, it is 20 days.

  3. Temporary orders

    While the case goes on, the judge can make a temporary order about custody and parenting time. The final order may be different.

  4. Emergency orders

    If your child faces immediate harm, you can ask for an emergency order. In some courts the judge decides the same day or the next business day, and sets a hearing soon after.

  5. Mediation

    Many courts send parents to mediation first. A trained mediator helps parents agree on a parenting plan. In California, mediation is required before a judge decides a custody dispute.

  6. Agreement or hearing

    If you agree, the judge can make your agreement a court order. If you don't, the judge decides after a hearing or trial.

  7. Final order

    At the end, the judge signs a final custody order. You can ask to change it later if things change. Each state sets its own rules for changes.

Good to know about a case

  • A guardian ad litem (GAL) is a person the court may appoint to represent the child's best interests in the case. A GAL is different from a custody evaluator.
  • A custody evaluator (in some states, custody investigator) is a trained professional who studies the family and recommends a parenting plan to the judge. The evaluator may talk with each parent and the child, visit homes, and look at school and medical records. Parents often pay a fee.
  • Make copies of everything you file. Keep one for your records. Bring your court papers and any current order to court.
  • Most state courts have a free self-help center for people without a lawyer. Your state page links to yours.

Words you will see

Legal custody
The right to make big decisions for your child, like school, health care and religion.
Physical custody
Where your child lives day to day.
Sole custody
One parent has the right. For legal custody, one parent makes the big decisions.
Joint custody
Both parents share the right. Joint legal custody means you decide big things together.
Parenting plan
A written schedule of when the child is with each parent and who decides what.
Parenting time / visitation
The time a child spends with a parent. States use different words.
Best interests of the child
The test judges use to decide custody. Each state lists its own factors.
Guardian ad litem (GAL)
A person the court may appoint to speak for the child's best interests in the case.
Custody evaluation
A study of the family by a trained professional, who then recommends a parenting plan to the judge.
Mediation
A meeting where a neutral person helps parents try to agree on a parenting plan.
Ex parte order
An order a judge makes after hearing from only one side, usually in an emergency. A hearing with both sides follows.
Temporary order
An order that lasts only while the case goes on, until the final order.
Modification
A change to a court order, usually because things have changed.
Relocation
When a parent wants to move away with the child. Many states require notice or court approval.
Home state (UCCJEA)
The state where the child lived with a parent for at least 6 months in a row right before the case. It usually decides custody first.
Paternity acknowledgment
A form unmarried parents can sign to make the father the legal parent.
Protective order
A court order to keep someone away from you. It may include custody rules.
Contempt
Disobeying a court order. A judge can punish it.
Service
Giving the other parent copies of the court papers in the official way.

Your state's rules

We have guides for 39 states and D.C. (40 guides). The other 11 states are coming.

More guides and tools

Sources

Last checked: November 2026