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Child custody and parenting time

Child custody and parenting time

How custody works, how judges decide, how to ask the court or change an order, moving with your child, and where to get free help. Plain words, for both parents.

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What custody means

Custody has two parts. Legal custody is the right to make big decisions for your child, like school, health care and religion. Physical custody is about where your child lives day to day.

Custody can be joint or sole. Joint legal custody means both parents decide big things together. Sole legal custody means one parent makes those decisions. Physical custody can also be shared, or one parent can have the child most of the time.

A parenting plan is a written schedule. It says where your child lives, when your child spends time with each parent, and who makes which decisions. Parents can agree on a plan. If they can't, a judge decides.

Time a child spends with a parent is called parenting time or visitation. States use different words for it. Some states also use words like "parental responsibilities" or "conservatorship." Your state page explains the words your state uses.

Read more: How custody works →

How judges decide

  • Judges decide custody based on what is best for the child. This is called the "best interests of the child." Each state lists its own factors in its law. See your state page for the list.
  • There is no federal law that lets a child pick a parent at a certain age. Some states let the judge listen to the child's wishes. A few set an age in their law. Your state page says what your state does.
  • Who has custody before any court order depends on state law. Some states give both parents equal rights. Some states have special rules when the parents were not married. Check your state page.
  • Custody is mostly state law. Federal law adds a few rules that are the same everywhere: which state's court decides, how orders work across state lines, child abduction to other countries, military parents, protective orders and paternity.

How a custody case usually goes

  1. File papers

    You start a case by filing papers with the court. They may be called a petition or a complaint. If you already have a divorce or paternity case, you usually ask in that case.

  2. The other parent is served

    The other parent must get copies of the papers in an official way. This is called service. The other parent then has a set number of days to respond. In Alaska, for example, it is 20 days.

  3. Temporary orders

    While the case goes on, the judge can make a temporary order about custody and parenting time. The final order may be different.

  4. Emergency orders

    If your child faces immediate harm, you can ask for an emergency order. In some courts the judge decides the same day or the next business day, and sets a hearing soon after.

  5. Mediation

    Many courts send parents to mediation first. A trained mediator helps parents agree on a parenting plan. In California, mediation is required before a judge decides a custody dispute.

  6. Agreement or hearing

    If you agree, the judge can make your agreement a court order. If you don't, the judge decides after a hearing or trial.

  7. Final order

    At the end, the judge signs a final custody order. You can ask to change it later if things change. Each state sets its own rules for changes.

Pick your state

We have guides for 39 states and D.C. (40 guides). The other 11 states are coming.

Guides for every state

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Sources

Last checked: November 2026