Getting a divorce in New Hampshire: what to do

If you answered “Yes” to “Are you afraid your spouse may hurt you or the children?”

If you are in danger, call 911. For safety planning, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788.

Why: Leaving or announcing a divorce can be the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship.

If you answered “Yes” to “Are you afraid your spouse may hurt you or the children?”

Before you tell your spouse or file, make a safety plan with an advocate, keep copies of important papers somewhere your spouse can't reach, and ask the court about a protective order.

Why: A protective order can be asked for separately and quickly, and it can cover the children.

Check that you meet your state's residency rule before you file.

Why: If neither spouse meets it, the court can dismiss your case.

Make copies of important papers: tax returns, pay stubs, bank, retirement and credit card statements, deeds, car titles, loan papers, and insurance policies. Keep them somewhere safe.

Why: Property and support are decided from these records, and they can be harder to get later.

Do not hide, move or spend large amounts of joint money, and do not take the children out of state without agreement or a court order.

Why: Courts can punish this, and many states put automatic orders in place once the case is filed.

Get your state's divorce forms from the court's self-help website or the clerk. Many states have simpler forms for uncontested divorces.

Why: Using the official forms avoids rejected filings.

Write down your assets, debts, monthly income and expenses. Most states require a financial disclosure from both spouses.

Why: You will need this for the property split and any support.

If you answered “Yes, mostly” to “Do you and your spouse agree on the main issues (property, debts, children, support)?”

Try to agree in writing on property, debts, support and a parenting plan. Ask the court about free or low-cost mediation.

Why: An agreement is usually faster and cheaper than a trial.

If you answered “Yes” to “Do you have children under 18 together?”

Estimate child support with your state's official calculator, and look for a parenting class requirement.

Why: Child support follows state guidelines, and some courts won't finish the divorce until the class is done.

File the petition (also called a complaint) with the clerk, pay the fee or ask for a fee waiver, and have your spouse served the way your state allows.

Why: The waiting period in many states starts at filing or at service.

If your spouse does not respond by the deadline, ask the court about a default judgment.

Why: The case can go ahead without them if they were properly served.

If you answered “No” to “Do you and your spouse agree on the main issues (property, debts, children, support)?”

If you can't agree, get legal advice before the first hearing and ask for temporary orders (custody, support, who stays in the home) if needed.

Why: Temporary orders set the rules while the case is open.

After the decree, follow up: change names on accounts, retitle cars and the house, split retirement accounts with the right court order, update beneficiaries and your will.

Why: The decree alone does not change titles or beneficiary forms.